Couldn’t we just be training passengers? Places to be, TTC. Places to be.
My bus got to the stop 3 minutes early. Luckily, I left 5 minutes early. Better luck next time, God!
Now I can pick up ANYTHING? Marvellous! Alaska, prepare to be relocated to the Caspian Sea; you’re welcome.
Old Navy sends me an email “Love Dresses? Well, They’re ALL ON SALE!” My life continues to confuse me.
Dear greeting card people: kindly change the name of your “funny cards” section. You have lied to me for the last time.
Dear protestors for any cause: unless your signs have slogans with hashtags in front of them, you’re too old school and need to go home for a nap. Sincerely, Every Protest Sign I’ve Seen This Year